Steph Goes Anyway

My first solo trip was to South Korea.

Not a nearby city.

Not a soft little weekend test run.

South Korea.

Because apparently my personal growth likes to skip the beginner level and go straight to international logistics with a language barrier.

The plan was not for me to go alone. I was supposed to fly standby with my mom and sister, but they could not get on the flight. I had a choice: cancel, wait, or go by myself and let them meet me a few days later.

I decided to go.

Was I completely calm? Absolutely not.

I worried about safety. I worried about navigating. I worried about eating alone. I worried about whether I would feel awkward, lonely, embarrassed, or suddenly incapable of functioning despite being a grown woman with a mortgage and a passport.

Very normal. Very relaxing. Very “just trying to become my best self while mildly panicking in an airport.”

But I had already been to Japan, which felt extremely safe, and I researched South Korea enough to feel comfortable with the actual risk. Seoul had strong public transit, English-friendly signage in many places, plenty of structured activities, and a reputation for being safe.

So I went.

And that trip changed what felt possible.

It taught me that your first solo trip does not require you to be fearless. It requires you to be prepared.

Because nervous does not mean incapable.

It means your brain would like a plan.

Your first solo trip does not need to be dramatic, far away, or personality-altering.

It needs to be planned well enough that your nervous system can come along for the ride.

Choose a destination that lowers the difficulty level

For a first solo trip, I would not choose the most logistically complicated destination on your dream list.

This is not the time to prove you are the protagonist of an indie film where no one has cell service and every bus schedule is a rumor.

Pick somewhere that makes the first attempt easier.

For me, a good first solo destination has a few things:

• Strong public transportation
• A reputation for safety
• Enough English support to function
• Safe, well-reviewed lodging in a convenient area
• Easy access to food
• Activities you can book in advance
• Neighborhoods where you can walk around without feeling constantly on edge

That is why South Korea worked so well for my first solo trip.

Seoul gave me what nervous first-timer me needed: strong public transit, plenty of English-friendly signage, easy food options, structured activities, and a level of everyday safety that felt noticeably different from many U.S. cities.

It did not make me fearless.

It made me functional.

That was enough.

Do not pick a destination just because it is impressive

Your first solo trip is not a test of how brave you are.

It is a confidence-building exercise.

That means the destination should support the version of you who is trying something new.

There are places I would not personally choose for a first solo trip because of safety concerns, difficult logistics, a major language barrier, or cultural attitudes toward women that might make the experience more stressful than empowering.

That does not mean those places are impossible forever.

It means I would not make them the first rep.

Your first solo trip should help you build trust with yourself.

Do not make it unnecessarily hard just so it sounds impressive later.

Stay somewhere that makes the trip easier

For a first solo trip, I care a lot about lodging location.

A cheaper hotel can become expensive very quickly if it costs you time, stress, long transit transfers, or the feeling that you do not want to walk back after dark.

I would rather stay in a smaller, simpler room in a safer, better-connected area than a bigger, cheaper place that makes every day harder.

For solo travel, I usually want to be:

• Close to public transit
• In a well-reviewed neighborhood
• Near food and coffee
• Somewhere I can return to easily during the day if I need a reset
• Somewhere that does not require me to become an amateur cartographer after 9 p.m.

Location is not just convenience.

It is nervous-system management.

And frankly, I support that.

Book one structured activity early

One of the best things I did in Korea was book guided activities early in the trip.

I did an e-bike tour around Seoul. I also did a market tour. On another trip, I did a Buddhist temple meditation retreat where I stayed overnight at a temple.

Those activities helped me feel included, oriented, and less alone.

They also gave me immediate context.

Instead of wandering around a huge city trying to pretend I was being carefree while actually wondering if I was lost, I had someone showing me around. I could ask questions. I could meet other travelers. I could get a feel for the city before trying to navigate everything by myself.

This is one of my favorite tips for first-time solo travelers:

Book something structured near the beginning.

A walking tour.
A food tour.
A bike tour.
A cooking class.
A museum tour.
A day trip with a guide.

Not because every minute needs to be scheduled. Please no. We are not turning your vacation into a project plan with snacks.

But one early activity can make the whole trip feel less intimidating.

It gives you momentum.

It gives you human contact.

It gives your nervous system proof that you are not just loose in a foreign country with a phone battery and a dream.

Eating alone is less weird than you think

Before solo traveling, one of the things I worried about was eating alone.

Would I feel embarrassed?
Would people stare?
Would I look sad?
Would I have to pretend to read the menu with unusual intensity for emotional support?

In reality, eating alone was much less dramatic than I expected.

Especially in Asia, there are many places where eating alone is completely normal. Japan, in particular, has plenty of restaurants set up beautifully for solo diners: ramen counters, small booths, convenience-store meals that are genuinely good, cafés, casual restaurants, and places where no one cares what you are doing because everyone is busy living their own life.

I have heard people say Korea is not set up for eating alone, but that was not really my experience. I found plenty of ways to eat comfortably.

And here is the thing: you do not have to make your first solo meal a Michelin-starred dinner under a spotlight.

Start easier.

Go to a café.
Eat at a counter.
Choose a casual restaurant.
Try a food hall.
Grab something excellent from a convenience store in Japan.
Order delivery if you are exhausted.
Eat early if that makes you feel better.

There is no award for making yourself uncomfortable in the name of proving a point.

Solo travel becomes much easier when you stop treating every small choice as a referendum on your bravery.

Sometimes dinner is just dinner.

Plan your first day gently

The first day of a solo trip is not the time to schedule fourteen things and a spiritual breakthrough.

You are probably tired.

Your body may have no idea what time it is.

Your phone may be doing something rude.

You may need food, water, a shower, and a moment to remember that you are a capable adult woman and not a misplaced carry-on bag.

On the first day, my goal is usually simple:

Get to the lodging.
Get connected.
Get food.
Get oriented.
Figure out what the neighborhood feels like.
Notice where I feel comfortable and where I do not.

That is enough.

You can build confidence quickly, but you do not need to do it all in the first six hours.

Set up your phone before you land

This is one of my strongest practical opinions:

Do not arrive alone in another country without a phone plan.

Set up your SIM, eSIM, portable Wi-Fi, roaming plan, or whatever data solution you are using before you are standing in an airport trying to decode signs while sleep-deprived and emotionally crispy.

When you are solo traveling, your phone is not just for convenience.

It is your map.
Your translation tool.
Your transit guide.
Your payment backup.
Your way to contact your lodging.
Your way to call for help.
Your way to check in with someone at home.
Your way to avoid wandering into the wrong train platform because confidence got too ambitious.

Have data ready.

Future you will be grateful.

Know your airport-to-hotel plan

You do not necessarily need to book a private transfer everywhere.

In many places, public transit, taxis, Uber, or local ride apps are perfectly workable.

But you should know the plan before you land.

At minimum, know:

• How you are getting from the airport to your lodging
• Whether rideshare apps work there
• Whether taxis are reliable
• Whether public transit is easy with luggage
• How long the route should take
• What your lodging address looks like in the local language, if relevant

If you are going somewhere with a major language barrier, arriving very late, or feeling especially nervous, booking your first transfer can be worth it.

Not because you cannot figure things out.

Because the first hour in a new country is not always when we need to audition for the Amazing Race.

Have a few anchor activities booked

How much I book in advance depends on the trip.

If I am flying standby, I often book less because I do not always know exactly when I will arrive. That is just the tradeoff.

But if I have a confirmed flight, I usually want lodging booked, plus a few anchor activities.

Anchor activities are not a packed itinerary.

They are just enough structure to make the trip feel real and manageable.

For example:

• A walking tour
• A food tour
• A museum ticket that sells out
• A day trip
• A special restaurant reservation
• A class or guided experience
• A cultural site that requires advance booking

If something has limited availability, book it early.

For example, when I wanted to visit the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam, I booked it in advance with a few days of cushion because I knew that waiting until I was already on the flight would not work.

Some things can stay flexible.

Other things need a plan.

Knowing the difference is the whole game.

Safety rules I actually follow

I do not believe in fearmongering around solo female travel.

I also do not believe in pretending women can move through the world exactly the same way men do.

Both things can be true.

I want solo travel to feel freeing, not reckless.

These are some of the rules I actually follow:

• I do not drink heavily when I am out alone.
• I am especially careful with alcohol late at night.
• I prefer to wake up early and structure my day around daylight.
• I try to be back in my hotel at a reasonable hour.
• I share my location with someone I trust.
• I check in regularly with someone at home.
• I do not tell random people that I am traveling alone.
• I research neighborhoods before I book lodging.
• I bring a doorstop alarm and use it.
• I trust my instincts if a place, person, or situation feels off.

The daylight thing is big for me.

When I am traveling solo, I like to follow the light. I wake up early, do the bulk of my exploring during the day, and wind down earlier at night.

That may not sound glamorous, but I would rather have a beautiful, full day and a calm night than force myself into nightlife I do not actually want just because someone online made solo travel look like a perfume ad.

You do not have to tell everyone you are alone

This is simple, but important.

I do not casually advertise that I am traveling alone to strangers. In fact, I imply I am traveling with others.

You can be friendly without being fully transparent.

If someone asks directly and I do not feel like answering, I can say:

“My friend is meeting me later.”
“I’m meeting people tomorrow.”
“My family is nearby.”
“I’m here with a group but doing my own thing today.”

You are not required to give strangers accurate logistical information about your vulnerability level.

Politeness is not a safety strategy.

Let that one sit.

Solo travel does not have to feel lonely

One of the biggest fears people have about solo travel is that it will feel lonely.

Sometimes it might.

But loneliness is not the only possible outcome.

Solo travel can also feel peaceful.
Free.
Efficient.
Clarifying.

You get to choose the café.
You get to leave when you want.
You get to spend two hours in a bookstore without negotiating with anyone.

You get to eat when you are hungry, rest when you are tired, and build a day around your actual interests.

And if you want connection, you can create it.

Book a tour.
Take a class.
Do a temple stay.
Join a guided day trip.
Sit at the bar.
Talk to the host.
Ask someone to take your photo.

You do not have to choose between total isolation and traveling with a partner.

There is a middle ground.

My first solo trip changed what felt possible

Going to Korea by myself changed something for me.

Not because every moment was effortless.

But because I did it.

I got myself there.
I navigated the city.
I ate by myself.
I booked activities.
I figured out the transit.
I handled the first few days before my mom and sister arrived.

And by the end, I felt more capable than I had before.

That is one of the hidden gifts of solo travel.

It gives you evidence: that you can solve problems, enjoy your own company, and build a life that does not shrink just because no one else’s calendar lines up with yours.

You can go.
You can start small.
You can plan well.
You can be nervous and still be capable.

My first-solo-trip planning checklist

Here is the simple version:

1. Choose a destination that makes things easier. Safe, transit-friendly, English-supportive, and not wildly logistically complicated.
2. Stay in a convenient area. Close to transit, food, and places you actually want to be.
3. Set up your phone before you land. SIM, eSIM, roaming, portable Wi-Fi — whatever works. Just do not wing this one.
4. Know your airport-to-lodging plan. Especially if arriving late or somewhere with a language barrier.
5. Book one structured activity early. A walking tour, food tour, bike tour, class, or guided experience.
6. Plan for comfortable solo meals. Cafés, counters, casual restaurants, food halls, ramen booths, convenience stores, or delivery all count.
7. Share your location and check in. Have someone at home loosely tracking your plans.
8. Build your days around daylight if that helps you feel safer. Early mornings are underrated.
9. Do not overbook. A few anchors are helpful. A suffocating itinerary is not.
10. Let the trip count even if it is imperfect. Confidence comes from doing the thing, not performing it flawlessly.

Why you should go anyway

Your first solo trip does not have to be huge.

It does not have to be across the world.

It does not have to impress anyone.

It just has to prove something to you.

That you can make a plan.
That you can navigate uncertainty.
That you can eat alone and survive the alleged social horror.
That you can be careful without being fearful.
That you can build a life with room for your own curiosity, even if no one else is available to come with you.

There are always reasons not to go.

Safety.
Money.
Logistics.
Embarrassment.
Anxiety.
The little voice that says, “Maybe this is for other people.”

But sometimes the way you become the kind of person who travels alone is not by waiting until you feel perfectly confident.

It is by planning the trip carefully, taking yourself seriously, and going anyway.